Salty Truth Friday - Networking isn't Begging

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🌊 Salty Truth Friday

Networking Isn’t Begging. It’s Building Relevance.

By Christine Sharma
Founder, Salty Dog Talent Consulting

Somewhere along the way, networking got rebranded as:

“Cold messaging strangers asking for favors.”

No wonder people hate it.

No wonder it feels awkward.

No wonder it feels desperate.

But here’s the truth:

Networking isn’t begging.

It’s positioning.

And when done well, it doesn’t feel transactional at all.

🧠 Why Networking Feels Gross

Most people approach networking with one goal:

“I need something.”

A job.
A referral.
An introduction.
An opportunity.

That energy shifts the entire dynamic.

When your first move is:

“Hi, I saw you work at X. Can you refer me?”

You’ve skipped the relationship part entirely.

And humans are wired to respond to relevance — not requests.

📊 How Hiring Actually Works

Let me pull back the curtain a bit.

When hiring managers receive a referral, they’re not thinking:

“Oh good, someone asked.”

They’re thinking:

  • Does this person align with what we need?

  • Why is this person being referred?

  • Would I want to work with them?

Referrals work best when:

  • The person referring you can confidently vouch for your capability.

  • You’ve demonstrated professionalism and clarity.

  • There’s actual alignment.

Not when you’ve sent 37 identical messages in a panic.

🎯 What Networking Actually Is

Networking is:

  • Becoming visible in relevant circles.

  • Adding insight before asking for access.

  • Engaging with people whose work you genuinely respect.

  • Building familiarity over time.

It’s not:

  • Mass-DM’ing strangers.

  • Asking for favors in the first message.

  • Treating LinkedIn like a job vending machine.

🌊 A Better Approach

Instead of:

“Hi, can you refer me?”

Try this:

1️⃣ Engage with their content thoughtfully.
2️⃣ Share an insight or perspective related to their work.
3️⃣ Send a message like:

“Hi — I’ve been following your posts about scaling CS teams and really appreciated your point about onboarding metrics. I’m currently exploring roles in that space and would love to ask one or two thoughtful questions about your experience if you’re open.”

See the difference?

You’re not asking for a shortcut.

You’re building relevance.

🛑 The Desperation Trap

If your networking only activates when you’re unemployed, it will feel forced.

The strongest networks are built before you need them.

That’s how senior professionals move quietly and confidently between roles.

⚓ A Salty Truth

If someone feels like you only reached out because you want something, they will respond cautiously.

If someone feels like you bring insight, clarity, and professionalism — they lean in.

The difference is energy and intention.

💡 Action Step

This week:

  • Identify 3 people in roles you admire.

  • Engage meaningfully with their content.

  • Send 1 thoughtful message — not asking for a referral.

  • Focus on conversation, not outcome.

Because networking isn’t about extracting opportunity.

It’s about becoming relevant to it.

Salty truths. Smart career moves.

— Christine


Location: Outer Banks, North Carolina, USA

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